Expand Your Confidence to Influence and Succeed

by Mike Lally on January 9, 2013

Stop for a moment and reflect on your communication skills. If you had to put some kind of a measure on it, how well would you score? Above average, perhaps? Now consider your body language. What is it telling other people? And importantly, what is it telling you?

As an experiment, periodically take stock of what you are showing with your body language, gestures and so on when you are in a social situation. In general, do you appear confident and composed, or slightly edgy?

How do confident people look? On reflection, do you tend to make yourself look bigger or smaller in most social contexts? Do you tend to look down, shoulders hunched, or do you prefer to spread your wings and monopolise the available space? Your appearance will influence how other people respond to you. So, does the person you are communicating with in a given moment seem to do the opposite of what you are doing? Begin to notice how the people you communicating actually do the opposite of what you decide to do. It often comes down to submission or dominance.

No matter what you do in life, success is largely based on your relationship and communication skills. And your body language informs people unconsciously how you think and feel about yourself. You are always providing information through your non-verbal messages. You are on show.

The quality of your skill in communicating effectively can strengthen relationships with clients, colleagues, superiors and loved-ones. Do this well and you will benefit both personally and professionally. It doesn’t matter whether you are selling your services, products, ideas or competing for business, you are always selling you. So, what are you telling people unconsciously?

If you develop more confidence, competence and credibility when communicating, both verbally and non-verbally, it will increase your potential to dramatically improve your relationships. Successful relationships get results, and there’s little point in waiting for an unknown time in the future to have what you can have right now!

The cost of ignoring sophisticated influential and persuasive skills is extraordinarily high. If you are at best average in this area, you will underperform in several vital parts of your life. It will affect your wealth, career, relationships, social life, and can even impact you romantically.

Everything that involves interacting or dealing with people should ideally become an intrinsic part of your skillset.

A one-second glance can tell people what they think they need to know about you. We all have a tendency to make sweeping judgments on the flimsiest information. Your body language communicates to me and mine communicates to you. It should be recognized that looking and appearing confident and being confident can be two separate things.

If you open yourself up, look bigger, and take up more space you can easily produce a sense of confidence that can lead to improved perceptions. If you get better results, surely there is nothing wrong with faking it!

In truth, men are probably better at faking confidence and dominance than women. Perhaps many have a need to appear more dominant. Yet, women are usually more emotionally intelligent. However, if your mind can change your body and your body can change your mind, why accept something less than what is possible for you? Let’s face it, you will always get results in life, but are they the ones you want?

Pause what you are doing for a minute or so and think about your capabilities. Actually, you had better stop counting after a few seconds because you probably have too many! Now, go ahead and picture your ability to learn something new, something that will improve your results. See a bright image of yourself achieving something worthwhile. Pop this picture into your head whenever you doubt your ability to achieve a goal.

What are you pursuing right now? Take another moment and write down a couple of goals you would love to achieve. Be bold when you do this. Now look into the future and see yourself achieving those goals. Part of success is derived from seeing yourself getting your outcomes. So, begin to play with the image you see because this will frame your immediate direction.

Always see yourself the way you want to be – and occasionally zoom in! Interestingly, it is not only possible to alter your body to effect a behavioural change, you will also find by doing this frequently that you will alter the way you think about yourself. Now go on, expand yourself! Take centre stage, bow and enjoy the feeling – you deserve it!

Be Sociable, Share!

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment


Previous post:

Next post: